One week until boarding. I am excited,
depressed, stressed, anxiously happy...a whole gamut of emotions is
running through me right now. I have been to the VA Clinic in Key West,
which by the way is awesome, have taken all my tests, all the results
have been great and I am in the peak of health.
It used to be that when I was younger Autumn,
specifically September, was the time of greatest change for me.
Nowadays it seems to be May/June. It was this time period that I left
Seattle in 2002. It was this time period I parted ways with my ex and
left to come to Florida for Naples Dinner Theatre Summerstock in 2003,
and it is now that I am leaving Key West for....what? A new beginning.
Another change. Another suitcase or three.
Right now it is evening, and the windows are open to the scent of jasmine and the sound of crickets. I will miss that.
I still have a lot to do: my iTunes to
configure, (I have to have my tracks since it is very possible I will be
hosting karaoke onboard the ship), sheet music of the songs I sang at
the Keys Piano Bar in case I have to do any singing with musicians,
clothes to obtain, a cell phone to buy, load and organize all my
pictures onto my iPad, load the books I may want onto my iPad, stock up
on Claritin and protein shakes and powders, get more RAM for my
computer, pack everything into boxes that I wish to keep and find a
storage unit for it...and somehow to say goodbye to the island that I
have lived on for the past 8 years.
What do I hope to gain in the next six
months? Clarity, money, knowledge of whether or not I have finally
found my career, physical health, and a sense of accomplishment. I hope
to rub out the damage to my self-esteem that has been afflicting me
through being fired from a hotel at which I thought I was doing a great
job, to failing at my attempts to start a Cabaret here in Key West, to
just trying to find SOMETHING that would enable me to participate
financially with my partner. Maybe this will be the new lease I need. God, I hope so.
My parents fly in tomorrow night for the week, and
they will be driving me to Fort Lauderdale to pick up my ship. I can't
help but think that at every major change in my life, every time a door
has closed, they were there to pack me up and take me away. College
graduation, my leaving my ex in Phoenix, and now this...is it an omen
that my time in Key West is truly done?
The crickets don't seem to be worried, and the jasmine still fills the warm night air.
It should be raining....
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